The 3 Things We Should Know about Effective Communication …and Practice

It’s been said that communication is the single most important skill to the success of individuals in all aspects of life. I often listen to the advice that great communicators have to offer, such as Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robins, John Maxwell, Les Brown and others. I also listen to experts dissect the different communication styles of these great speakers with the goal of learning about patterns, techniques, and their take on “the secret sauce” to effective communication. I have found that the advice provided by these experts is somewhat similar, even if they don’t use the same terms to express it.

Communication is the transfer of information between two or more parties. There are three parts to communication: the message, the sender or message generator, and the recipient of the message. The education system does a decent job of instilling in us the technical aspects when it comes to the message. We begin learning at an early age the rules of grammar, syntax, and even literature.  We learn how to craft a message by writing essays, reports, letters, and even poetry. Yet, we don’t graduate being skilled communicators. There is more to communication than words, grammar, or correct syntax. The skill of communicating effectively is not in the core curriculum of the education system. But I think it should be, because even with all the years of language education, many do not grasp the concept of how to craft a clear message that has a high chance of being understood by the recipient in the way intended.  

To get some perspective on this subject, I want to share one of the interesting things that I learned later in life. Words account for only 7% of the communication. The other 93% is comprised of body language, face expression, and tonality. So, we spent all those years trying to learn how to write and understand the meaning of words, but their effect is really less than 90%.  I will not dive into details on this today, but many of the great speakers talk about this in their talks or their books.

I don’t think that anyone will argue against the need to continue to grow in the skill and art of effective communication. In fact, we should all be required to take a course to set us off on the communication growth journey and to help us avoid some rookie mistakes when we start a job!  If you consider your job duties, regardless of where you are in the organization, you will at some point be required to communicate with someone, whether an end user, supplier, a member of an interest group, a member of the governing body, your supervisor, or a colleague.  

Communication comes into play as we promote and live procurement values with every project that we handle. Let’s take transparency, for example. It requires clarity. Transparency is manifested in part in the solicitation documents. Requirements need to be clearly articulated. But before the requirements can be clearly articulated in a document, good listening should take place. Procurement professionals provide process leadership and service, but for anyone to follow, there has to be some level of connection that positively influences the stakeholders to follow his/her advice and adhere to the process, policies and legal requirements. Let me then highlight the three essential aspects of effective communication.

  1. Listen to Understand

Listening is a skill that we don’t practice enough. Many of us think we listen, but we are truly not. Listening to understand requires that you abandon the need to jump to conclusions, finish the persons thought, judge the message or the person communicating the message. Some great listeners place their index finger on their lips as a reminder to listen and keep them from interrupting the other person. Listening to understand requires empathic focus on the person’s message. Listening is one of the greatest gifts that you can give another person, particularly if as a result they feel heard, validated, and understood. Everyone wants to be heard. When a person feels heard, they can be more receptive to your response. 

2. Clear and Concise Message

A clear and concise message will help avoid confusion. Avoid using too many words.  Sometimes we want to show our expansive vocabulary and end up confusing the other person. If you tend to ramble or get sidetracked, write down the main point in simple, everyday words. Many people stop paying attention if the point is lost in the abundance of words. Also, make an effort to know your audience or learn about them so that you can communicate in a way that they understand. Even when you are using the storytelling technique, it is important to make the point with the least number of words in order to make it effective. So, the advice is to keep it simple.

3. Connection

Connecting with people encompasses good listening skills and a clear message. This skill goes beyond verbal communication. It requires you to be authentic but also to meet the person where they are. This may require blending your style or mirroring the style of the person with whom you want to communicate. To connect requires some extra effort.  Don’t expect people to adapt to you; instead, help people relate to you by meeting them where they are emotionally. From a broader perspective the goal of communicating is to connect with the other person.  When you have a connection, a common ground, or are in rapport, the communication becomes a vehicle for trust.  If you want to positively influence others, communicate to connect. 

When we think about these three aspects of effective communication, it is easy to think that we implement them – occasionally. The key is to be consistent in the application of these techniques. Sometimes we lack the awareness that our communication is not optimized, perhaps because of the mountain of work at the desk that robs us of the opportunity to intentionally improve our communication. I know many procurement professionals committed to their work and to the service that they provide to their community. Like me, they want to make a positive impact.  Over time, they masterfully juggle an insane number of projects particularly if they find themselves in a “solo procurement” scenario. Unfortunately, all the hard work may be overshadowed by their inability to practice tactics that can help them achieve effective communication on a consistent basis.  

The ability to communicate effectively and more importantly to connect, is key to a successful career. Any successful person may agree that communication is or has been an essential contributor of their success. Perhaps this is why despite all the good and hard work that some professionals do on a daily basis, they may feel that their level of success may not be commensurate with their efforts. There could be many factors why success in the form of promotions may have skipped them, but one that is sure to have an impact is “communication”. In his book, “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect”, Dr. John C. Maxwell talks about this. He states that hard work, even when the result is a great job, is insufficient to achieve success. In order to be successful, one must really be able to communicate effectively with others. 

Communication is important in all areas of our lives. This is particularly true if you want to lead, especially when leading a transformation process. Since people naturally reject change or being changed, effective communication is one of the key enabling factors. So, if you are leading change, there is no option but to be intentional about practicing techniques that help you communicate effectively.

In conclusion, to be successful in the different aspects of life, we need to continue to improve our communication. It’s not enough to work hard or have degrees or certifications. Effective communication requires practice and intentionality. Getting good at consistently communicating effectively is not the result of a one-time seminar or a finite time period for practice. When we consider our limitations, the complexities of human behavior, and the environmental challenges that restrict the way we communicate, it is easy to reason that getting good at communicating is a life-long journey.